A step forward

Eralm sat at her desk, her eyes laid over the journal she had kept for years now. She closed her eyes, her right hand gently scratching the leather on the cover of the book, before opening it. The first few pages opened, unrevealing many lines of text. Much had happened these last few years, yet recent events had hit her harder than ever, maybe for the best? It was known that the elf had rather odd social behaviour. Some had grown to like it while causing others to worry. For the Elf, said events had been helpful, allowing her to grow.

She had found new friends, ones she seemed able to trust; [[Kyandrial]], [[Alynorae]], [[Aumellia]], and [[Neralynn]]… They had become the ones closest to her, a rare event. She never allowed anyone to get close, scared she’d be stabbed in the back again. Yet, she had allowed it; something she had done for the better, allowing herself to trust others again. It wasn’t fully there yet, but it was on its way, surely but slowly.  She enjoyed being around them, and it gave her an odd warm feeling she couldn’t place her finger on, but it was something she hadn't felt in years.

Ilaydwen had told her to be less harsh on herself, a sentiment repeated by others. She didn’t know how to take it, it hurt. Even Rhaewon told her to not beat herself up, the person she looked up to, and most recently, left... She desired to be perfect, become a better Ranger than her father, yet the way to accomplish such a feat eluded her. Her Mentor, Magistrix Frostfire, was missing in action. She was worried, scared. She didn’t want her to be hurt, she was stern with Alynorae and herself, but also caring. Eralm hoped she was still alive and well, wanting to learn more from her, both as a Spellbow and a person.

She had taken another odd step, leaving her comfort zone to ask help from a friend, to improve her swordplay. If she was to become a better Ranger, she had to be open-minded, something she tried desperately to become. It was hard, but it was worth it to better herself. She’ll take a beating, but she was determined to pick herself up, stronger than before. Not only this did she have to overcome, she had to start biting back, hold her chin up at all times, as the proud elf she should be.

Eralm closed her eyes, closing the book. She had to accept the past, if she didn’t want to be stagnant in the future or in the present, Ilaydwen was very clear on that. She had made an honest effort to reforge the bond she had with her father, taking time out of her schedule to see him. It had helped, it even led to yet another feeling she couldn't quite put her finger, one she hasn’t felt in years. but Ilaydwen assured her it was normal, a good sign.

The elf rose from her seat, walking to her bedroom. She opened the door to her balcony, looking over the Exchange, before looking back into the room, noticing how messy it was. She grinned, knowing some of the clutter wasn’t hers. She had grown to trust someone beyond friendship, an actual relationship. Feraenar had become that person Eralm has grown to like beyond mere friendship. She didn’t know how to describe it, the warm feeling she felt around him… He had asked her out, something she secretly had hoped for and had happened!

She picked up her backpack and adjusted her shirt. She was going to see her dad, knowing he had prepared brunch. Eralm smiled at the thought, remembering how it was when she was a little girl. She closed the door of the balcony, before stepping back to her desk, to retrieve her book.

“To close a Chapter and build a new one. “

The last page was written, now was the time to move on and hold the past simply as a memory. She was going to burn the journal, at the right time.